My Writings Around the Web

Been doing a lot of writing in the last month. Here are the links if you’ve missed anything!

 

My 6-Word Memoir

Angel's Landing hike in Zion National Park.

Angel’s Landing hike in Zion National Park.

I’ve recently gotten back into regular journaling. Or maybe I should say that I’ve gotten into journaling, period. I’ve always tried, but never really been all that successful. For some reason, in the last couple months, the habit has caught on more so than it ever has before. I think it’s the right combination of circumstances (working from home, having a more flexible schedule) and motivations (my strong desire to write more).

In light of that, I wrote up an article for the Art of Manliness that is a 31-day journaling calendar. I think a lot of people would like to journal more, but just don’t know what to say. That calendar/guide won’t be posted until January, most likely. However, I’ve decided that I should go through the exercise myself. Duh.

So today I’m on day two. The prompt for day two (you’re getting a sneak peek!) is to write a six-word memoir. This supposedly started with Hemingway, but has caught on to be a little bit of a movement. As a painter paints within constraints (the canvas), so a writer can do with prompts like this. It forces you to think creatively and purposefully, especially when trying to sum up an entire life. It can quite easily point to and reveal what your values truly are.

I honestly wasn’t expecting much in completing this exercise, but I ended up on the other side of it being totally enlightened. That may be a bit too strong of a word, but at the same time, it may not be.

Blessed by life of ordinary adventure.

I really thought I would go through many iterations before arriving at a “memoir” I was pleased with. But this jumped right off the pen, almost instantaneously of me thinking about what I’d write. I thought and thought about how to change it — there’s no way I could “get it” on the first shot — but I just couldn’t come up with anything to modify. I loved it. I do love it.

Blessed. To say my life is blessed is the understatement of all eternity. My parents/in-laws/family/loved ones are incredible. I love my wife more than anything in the world. My job gives me satisfaction and enjoyment — something that not enough people get to experience. I don’t ever want to forget the unbelievable, innumerable blessings in my life.

Ordinary. On the outside, my life could seem to be quite ordinary. I went to college, am married, own a cute little brick house, have a steady job, etc. In many ways those really are ordinary things. But I’m totally okay with it. Lots of people want to be “world changers,” but real change in our world often comes from ordinary folks with ordinary lives who have a little bit of courage. In the midst of the ordinary, however, there is also…

Adventure. Even if things appear ordinary, they most certainly aren’t. Adventure is part of the DNA of our marriage. Our weeks are usually fairly “normal” – but our weekends are often spent in the mountains. We love to travel – more than just about anything else. Doing new things and enjoying life with food and drink and everything in between is just who we are. But even in the midst of the normal stuff, we live a life together that is overflowing with love and laughter. And there is something magical in that which makes every ordinary moment an adventure.

Without really realizing it, this little journaling prompt may have turned out what becomes a/the guiding vision or principle of my/our life. How wonderful and unexpected.

What would your six-word memoir say?

On the seizing of days.

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A snippet I wrote in my journal this morning as the sun was rising:

Not a great day yesterday in terms of productivity. It was fine, and enough, but not great. The good news is that it’s beginning to glow outside. A hint of orange is starting to fall on the Earth — my little piece of Earth, that is. The darkness is shirking away; a new day has arrived.

And with it, a brand new opportunity to do something great. Don’t let the cosmic routine of day and night lull you into thinking it’s an ordinary thing. Don’t let this ancient process of a rising sun keep you from taking the fullest advantage of daylight.

There’s something magical about the sun. J.R.R. Tolkien knew this in his writing. Daylight always brought a sense of newfound hope and optimism, but above all, newness. Each day is a brand new thing. Let that sink in.

Each day, you can erase the failings of yesterday or build on its successes — and often, it’s both. You have a chance to be new, to start new, to take hold the opportunities that are just waiting for you to grab them.

Carpe diem. Don’t let the familiarity of the phrase strangle its power. Carpe diem.

Seize the day. Seize this day.

Must. Harden. Resolve.

Me, occasionally.

Me, occasionally.

I’ve written that in my journal a few times lately. “Must. Harden. Resolve.”

Honestly, it’s strange to write, because it feels like it goes against what society at large advocates for today.

Do what you love… Go for it… Follow your passion…

The books and articles eschewing these beliefs are too numerous to count. We often don’t get past that initial motivating sentence, though. What we don’t see is that the vast majority of people who are successful have worked their butt off for what they have.

Doing what you love is a really great thing. Believe me. I’m not saying anything contrary to that. But I also think that these new norms are having an unintended consequence for my generation. We’ve gotten a little soft…mostly on ourselves. I think we need to toughen up a little.

The problem, as I see it, is when laziness interferes with the things we love or care about. I thoroughly enjoy writing. I like the feeling I have as I’m writing, and usually have some kind of inner satisfaction when I’m done writing. I enjoy getting feedback on my writing (I’m bein’ honest here, folks). The problem is that I’m sometimes just too damn lazy to actually do it. In that sense, I need to toughen up, and have the discipline to just do what I love doing. It seems a bit of a paradox — why should I need to “make” myself do something I enjoy? — but it’s true nonetheless.

Another example (they are many): I like the feeling I have when I’m running. I like the way my body feels when I’m done running and I can feel myself breathing hard. I like the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve pushed my body, even if just a little bit. I like the way I feel when I eat healthy. But again, sometimes, I’m just too lazy to follow through on these things. It may just be a part of my own personality, but I do think there’s a cultural aspect as well. We live in a new digital world that is quite accepting and often lives by and teaches a mantra of “Do what you want!” It’s sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not.

There are times where we just need to harden our resolve and do something we don’t want to do in the moment because the end result is better for us. It seems like we (and I) have lost that to a degree. We just aren’t being told to get it done or to put in the hard work. Well, some people are saying that, but they seem to get a bit drowned out.

Here’s to hardening our resolve, and doing what must be done. I’m writing this because I’d rather be on the couch reading a detective novel. Now that I’ve written this, however, I’m quite happy that I took the 15 minutes to sit here and process (only slightly, mind you) a thought. With every 15 minutes of doing that, my willpower grows, and I’m able to better do a thing that I love doing.

So get to it. Do the work. Get it done. Harden your resolve.  

Okay, back to reading The Maltese Falcon.

Hiking in Sand Dunes: A Traveler’s Guide

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[I wrote this a few months ago, after a trip Jane and I took to Great Sand Dunes National Park. All photos are ones I took on the trip.] 

We drove and drove.
Maybe it was four hours. Maybe it was five. Or perhaps two and a half.
The whole episode has a Narnia-esque feeling of losing all sense of time.

The road was curvy.
Through small mountain towns.
Picturesque; straight out of a postcard.
The mountains surrounded us as we traveled through a green valley.
Grass-fed beef was plentiful.

Until…
Up and over a small pass in our little white car.
Seven or eight thousand feet at the most.
Nothing compared to the 14ers around us.
And into a new valley.

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The San Luis Valley.
One hundred miles long.
Fifty miles wide.
We drove straight down the middle on 285.
And then on 17.
Twenty-five miles to the east were mountains.
Twenty-five miles to the west were mountains.
One hundred miles to the south were mountains.
But in between? Where we now drove on?

Desert.
A high desert is what they call it.
Sitting at eight or nine thousand feet above the sea.
It was the definition of desolation.
Small towns that barely qualify as small towns.
More like villages of people who happen to live somewhat close to each other and share a diner.

I remarked, “We could start Colorado Pickers down here…”
“Jeremy, what did you bring me to?”
“I don’t know. The pictures looked nice.”

That’s what we clung to.
A picture of something beautiful.
Something otherworldly.

I decided when I first saw a picture of Great Sand Dunes National Park that we should take a trip.
I asked friends what it was like…“Well, it’s a bunch of sand…”
They sure sold us on it.

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And yet we went.
Any adventure, no matter how grand or ungrand, is still an adventure.
We kept driving.

It felt like forever.
The Dunes could be seen, and yet never reached.
They were a spec of beige clinging to the gray peaks behind them.
Ever just out of our grasp.
(Of course, “ever” means about an hour and a half.)

Now if you remember, we were driving down the middle of the valley.
This happens to be the largest valley in Colorado.
We took a left.
On 6.
Now the Dunes were straight ahead.
Although a mere 20 miles away, it felt like forever.
I guess driving in the desert does that.
(Just like driving across Nebraska does.)

As we approached, we could see these mythical Dunes getting bigger.
Nestled right into a backdrop of granite behemoths.
“I thought the Dunes would be bigger,” she said as she squinted out the windshield towards them.
“Well, I think they’ll get bigger once we get there.”

And get there we did.
And get bigger they did.
(I promise, I’m not entirely trying to be Yoda here.)
All of a sudden, after being just a speck on the horizon, we were right in front of them.
And they were magnificent.

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You’ve never seen so much…sand…in one place.
Rolling hills of sand that mimic the rolling hills of western Iowa.
You stand there, gawking a bit, not sure if what you’re seeing is real or just an elaborate mirage.

To the west (your left), desert.
To the east (your right), a mountain range, and a magnificent one at that.
In fact, one of the tallest, on average, in Colorado.
And in front of you, thirty square miles of sand, rising up to 750ft above where you are standing.

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It defines surreal.
Like a scene from another planet.
Or maybe just a dime sci-fi novel.

We parked the car.
We got out of the car.
We put on our hiking shoes with confidence, like we always do.
We were ready to tackle and conquer these damn Dunes.
It didn’t look so hard.

I didn’t strap on my hiking bag, thinking it would be a walk in the park.
There are no trails in the Dunes.
You are free to wander as you please.
More accurately, we learned, you are free to wander as you are able.

And so we started walking…hiking…trudging.
For a hundred yards – maybe two hundred – it’s flat.
But flat is deceiving.
Because it was still sand.

With every step, you sink a few inches.
And then as you lift your other foot to take another step, you sink a little more.
And you go backwards.
You quite literally take a half-step back for every step forward.
And that’s on the flat part.

Halfway across this even terrain, our breath is already a little short.
And we’re a little embarrassed.
So we look at each other.
But don’t say anything.
Uttering even a whisper of being tired is what makes it true.
A tiredness left inside is but a shadow of its crushing spoken reality.

The clouds are a saving grace.
The sand is hot, even in the moderate-to-cool 50-degree air that surrounds us.
Flickers of sun made themselves known from time to time.
But the clouds are a saving grace.

It does not take long to arrive at your first incline.
That’s when it really hits you.
After ten feet of elevation gain, you look up at the remaining 640 feet and wonder if you’ll ever make it.

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An incline of sand is different than an incline of rock and dirt.
An incline of sand is different than a flat plane of sand.
Remember how it was a half-step back for every step forward?
Now it’s a full step back, sometimes two or three.
Now you sink four or maybe six inches into the fine grains instead of just a couple.
Your calves burn almost instantly.

And we’ve gained ten feet.
Ten out of six hundred and fifty.
Thankfully our current task is just a small hill.
But an awful glimpse as to what lies ahead.

We continue, though.
We trudge and trudge and trudge.
(Look up the definition of trudge – this is exactly what we did.)

There were people around us in all directions.
Granted, they were generally just dots on an infinite tan field.
And yet, we barely heard a noise as we walked…hiked…trudged.
There was an occasional hiss of wind.
But no sounds from people.
The Dunes are great buffers of noise.
Like being in an outdoor recording studio.

We go down a little bit.
Then up a lotta bit.
And somehow the “peak” – the top of this unmoving and unchangeable Dune – gets farther away.
We secretly wonder if we’ll make it.
It must be kept secret, for now, or we surely won’t.

Over another ridge.
Then, all you see is sand.
It’s overwhelming.
All around you except for one little window, through which you see a 14,000-fot mountain rise up.
And suddenly, very suddenly, you see a vision of what it would be like to be stranded in the Sahara.
Really.
That seems dramatic, I know.
But when you see nothing but sand, you become terrified at that thought of the Sahara.
And you have a microscopic sense of what desert wayfarers have felt and feared through the ages.
Even though you know your car is just a mile away.

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“Let’s not ever get stranded in a desert.”
“Okay. Deal.”

We trudge and trudge and trudge some more.
We are more than halfway to the top.

We sit down.
Water is needed.
Rest is for our calves is just as needed.
“Can we make it?”
(I’m the weak one – always the first to ask.)
“I don’t know…I don’t really care anymore.”
(The first time she’s ever said that.)
And like she always says, “Just one more ridge, I want to see the other side.”

And so we trudge on.
At times the sand is a little damp.
This comes as a breath of fresh air.
It doesn’t give as much when it’s damp.
It’s back to a half-step lost instead of a full step lost.
But inevitably, the dry sand returns.
And you feel like you’re on a Stairmaster.

Then, just like always when hiking, you’re there.
Not at the top, mind you.
But at that point where you can see the top.
And you can see the other side of this thirty-square-mile field of Dunes.
Ahhhhhhh.

In front of us is a drop off.
We’re at the high point of the front edge of the Dunes.
You can see sand for miles and miles, and mountains rising up from behind them.
Stunning.

We go left.
And continue trudging up the ridge.
It’s not much farther from here.
Thankfully, this trudging isn’t so bad.
It’s a well-traveled ridge, so there are footprints to follow.
The task is always easier when you can follow someone else’s footprints.
Those pioneers had the truly difficult path.
Especially in the sand.

It would be nice, for the story, if we made it to the very top.
But we didn’t.
There were dark clouds rolling in, and we didn’t want to take the chance.
It was probably just 250 feet of horizontal trudging, and another 20 or 30 feet up.
So close.
It’s okay, though.
Getting to the top isn’t everything.

In fact, the way down was exhilarating.
I imagine it is what walking on the moon would feel like.
You can slide.
You can leap.
You can roll.
No more trudging.

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You jump three or four or five feet down the Dune.
On solid ground that would be a very scary thing to do.
Except this time you end up nearly to your knees in sand.
And you slide a few more feet as you land.
It is weightless.
So you keep jumping.
And sliding.
And in about ten minutes you are back to the flat sand.

Ten minutes.
Truly.
That’s it.
Almost two hours up.
Ten minutes down.
Incredible, huh?

We look at each other.
And smile big smiles.
It was fun coming down.
Really fun.
And then we look back up at where we just came from.
It is impossibly far away.

“Were we really up there?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s a long ways.”
“Yeah.”
“Well that didn’t seem too bad…”

Back to the car we trudge.
Another adventure had.
We’re quiet for now, but I know we’re both thinking how much fun this life is that we get to live together.
Among the Great Sand Dunes.
And even if we don’t get to the tippy-top, we’ll smile on the way down.
For it’s in trudging that true life is lived.

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The Dunes are on the right-hand side. This was from a hike a few miles away.

 

 

On Catfish and Body Image

catfish

I love Catfish. The TV show, that is. (I might also love the barbed water-dweller pictured above, but I’ve not tried it, so I can’t very well speak on the subject.) What started as the documentary movie a few years back became the hit MTV show last year, and is now in the midst of its second season. If you live under a rock, it’s basically about people who pretend to be someone else online and then engage in digital relationships. Host and creator Nev Schulman helps victims find out who the real people are behind these fake internet personas. The backstories get pretty crazy to say the least, but there’s one underlying theme that I’ve come to see in most of the episodes.

The “catfishes” — those who are pretending to be someone else — seem to be doing so almost entirely because of how they look. In many cases, it’s a bigger guy or gal who is afraid to show their techno-admirer what they really look like. And ya know what… it works. These folks who don’t like who they are pretend to be what society deems attractive, and they inevitably have more “dating” success, even if it’s just online. It’s clearly not a physical relationship (well, sometimes it is via texting and chatting on the phone and what not), which means that people are opening up emotionally to these fake super models more than they would to an unattractive person right next to them. This says a hell of a lot about the state of the society we live in.

We’ve become so obsessed — obsessed is the word I want to use, and it’s a powerful one; don’t diminish the meaning of that word here — with body image that we can barely function as relational humans with people who don’t fit our concept of attractive.

In the show, once the truth has come to light, the victim is often astounded that they could have had such a deep relationship with someone who isn’t necessarily up to their physical standards. They come away saying that they won’t judge people as quickly anymore based on outer appearances. It’s sad that it takes this kind of experience to learn that lesson. Alas, I’m sure it’s a lesson that we could — that we should — all learn.

This is not a problem that we’re unaware of. We know that the people who entertain us on the screen or are featured in glossy pages are not accurate depictions of what the majority of people look like. And yet we can’t get over those images. Our brain gets it, to some degree, but we can’t make the actual connection that allows us to accept our bodies. Sure, we need to be healthy and strive to be fit, but to what degree? Does a guy need six-pack abs to be attractive? Damn right, if I’m listening to what’s thrown my way on a daily basis.

For whatever reason, a stupid TV show has visually made me aware of this problem to a degree that I wasn’t before. In the end, people just want to be loved for who they are. And who’s in control of that? ME. I am in complete control of how I treat people, and I’m fairly certain it too often has something to do with how someone looks.

Here’s to trying something different. Will you join me?

In Praise of a Labor Day Reset

This is the wikimedia commons photo of the day, and I like it. I'll let you be creative and find a relation to Labor Day.

This is the wikimedia commons photo of the day, and I like it. I’ll let you be creative and find a relation to Labor Day.

In most cultures around the world, we have this giant personal reset button known as New Years. We take time to set goals, declare that we’ll be better people, accomplish great things…and then promptly blow it by March. Okay, maybe that’s just my experience, but I feel like it’s probably a fairly universal one. I’m totally in favor of the idea — it’s uber-beneficial to have a time set aside to reset and reflect and think about the coming year. In the last couple weeks, however, I’ve come to think that New Years is just a bad time to do so.

The holidays are generally a stressful time already. There’s a lot of family around (sometimes out of obligation), there’s a lot of event planning, there’s a lot of spending — you get the idea. To throw in time for thoughtful reflection and goal setting in the midst of that may actually hamper that process a little bit. I get that it’s built right into our calendar, but I suggest a different approach; one that I’ll be trying for the first time.

Labor Day is approaching in just under a week. It’s a long weekend that is often comprised of vacations and relaxing grill-outs with the people we care about. Our attitude about this season just fits better with the idea of a personal reset. Summer is often considered (even in the business world) to be a time when things slow down a little. Half days on Fridays are more common, less night/weekend work happens, and projects generally aren’t as harried. The higher ups take vacations, and workplace libations become more common.

Much of this is simply because of the school year calendar — parents want to take advantage of the kids’ time off. And obviously warm weather helps that cause. As a result, the adults (even those without kids) inevitably get onto that schedule. When it’s time to get back to school in the fall, we’re all probably a bit laid back, and we need to get into gear for fall and winter. As we make that transition in business and with our families, why not do so personally as well?

This year, I’m trying a Labor Day reset. Instead of having a large laundry list of categorized goals like I often do, I’m going to focus on three big ideas for the next year. They’re fairly broad, which is not often the case with good goal-setting, but I’m motivated enough by them that I don’t think it will be an issue. We’ll see. This is all an experiment for me, but one that I look forward to and I think will have some success. For whatever reason, I just felt the need to shake it up a little bit.

Next year, I’ll report back with my findings. If you’re lucky, I may even share my three big goals in the next couple weeks. We’ll have to see about that, though.

What do you say about the idea of a Labor Day reset? I’d love to hear your thoughts!